Happy New Year!
In some ways it felt like 2021 lasted forever (especially the first 7.5 months…I’ll go into this more) but then the end of the year flew by.
Reflection on 2021
I wrote a post at the beginning of the year last year with my word of the year I had received on a bracelet from Be Rooted Bead Company. The word I got was bold. As I reflect on my year last year, I think I lived up to that word. I looked up the definition of bold again and the online dictionary defines it as following:
Bold- (of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.
Dictionary definition from Oxford Languages
I normally would not use that adjective to describe me. I tend to be more cautious and anxious. But I think bold is the word I needed to get through the beginning of last year. I wasn’t able to be completely open with everyone last year due to my family’s security, but exactly a year ago Christian moved to Fort Benning, GA for 7.5 months to complete a military course while I stayed behind with all 4 kids (ages 3- 2 months old at the time). We got PCS orders (permanent change of station, meaning that we could have moved with him if we wanted) at the very last minute. So, we made the first bold choice of the year and decided to live separately during the training so Gabriel could stay at school and we could keep all the same doctors. It was the hardest decision I have had to make.
Last year was hard. And to be honest, I’m not sad about it being over. I definitely became more bold throughout those months of living alone with the kids; I had to learn to ask for help and do what I needed to do to take care of my kids and my health. I was in the middle of PPD, and in the middle of winter in Iowa which seemed to be a particularly rough one.
Survival
While bold was the word of the year I received, and I think it does apply, I also think my word of the year last year became survive. We endured a lot of challenges last year, including losing Jesse. It took a lot to get up out of bed every day to take care of the kids by myself, especially when depression wanted me to just stay inside and not do anything. But I survived. It took a lot to fly by myself with all 4 kids to visit my family over the summer and get some help for the last month Christian was gone, but we survived and had a great visit. It took a lot to give birth to Jesse by myself in the bathroom and bury him/her. It took a lot to get out of bed after that and continue on with life when it felt like a piece of me was missing. We are still grieving, but we are surviving.
Blessings from 2021
But last year also brought us many blessings. We got a lot of family time, especially around the holidays! I launched Friday Features, and had a lot of fun working with others and reading their reflections on ways they live out the quote, “Do small things with great love.” We were blessed with Jesse for 6 weeks, and then right after Shiloh’s 1st birthday we found out that we were expecting again. This past New Year’s Eve, I was able to go into the new year optimistic and hopeful for the future, rather than last year where I knew the challenge of separation was waiting for me.
2022 Word of the Year
I decided to use Jennifer Fulwiler’s word of the year this year, and received the word, mission.
Mission– The vocation or calling of a religious organization, especially a Christian one, to go out into the world and spread its faith.
Dictionary definitions from Oxford Languages
I am excited about this word! I have been praying for years to understand what God is calling me to do. Maybe this is the year where I get some answers. I have been wanting to devote more time to writing again, as I kind of slacked off last year. I have some opportunities I can pursue, and I’m excited for the possibilities open to me. Christian hired a graphic designer to make an official logo for my website for my Christmas present this year, and I am so excited to show it to you!
My other goals this year are to work on becoming more optimistic. Not an easy goal, but a necessary one. Last year brought a lot of hardship and this year we already have a few challenges ahead of us. My anxiety wants to protect me by focusing on what could go wrong. But then I find I am even more stressed out about the future instead of remaining hopeful and trusting that everything will go according to God’s plan. I hope to make more time this year to devote to studying my faith and strengthening my relationship with God.
What are your goals?
What are your goals for this year? What is your word of the year? Or phrase for the year? Whatever they are, I hope that this year is full of health and happiness and is off to a wonderful start. We got a fun start to our year yesterday by getting a few inches of snow- the kids were so excited and enjoyed playing outside.
