I turned 30 yesterday. It’s been a milestone birthday that has been on my mind for awhile. Though I will admit I wasn’t always looking forward to it until recently.
I feel like I have not had the typical 20s experience compared to my peers. Modern society (or at least what I have grasped from it) makes it seem like your 20s is your time for freedom to figure out who you are, build up your career, and have a lot of adventures.
And I guess I did all that in my own way. I was a sophomore in college when I turned 20. My sophomore year was a difficult one for many reasons, but mainly because I was unsure of myself and still trying to figure out what I wanted out of life.
My 21st birthday was a little rough; my grandpa died the day before so I was grieving. But 21 still holds good memories, the biggest one being getting engaged.
I graduated college and got married at 22, and a few weeks before turning 23 I gave birth to our son.
A few days before turning 24, I gave birth to our daughter. 24 was the year I really came back to my faith and took it seriously. I had a job that year, and also got into fitness and running.
At 25 I gave birth to my 3rd child and was probably the healthiest mentally. The jump to 3 kids was a lot easier for me and I felt balanced in motherhood and life. I also started my blog.
26 and 27 were difficult years for me mentally.
26 was COVID year. I unexpectedly got pregnant again with our 4th and throughout my pregnancy and afterwards became depressed. My husband left for a long training when the baby was 2 months old and was gone for about 7 months.
But 26 is also the year that my daughter was born and I became proactive in taking care of my mental health. I started therapy and treatment for my depression.
27 started off with my husband away for his long training, and once he came home we were blessed with Jesse. We lost Jesse 6 weeks later, and I spent the rest of 27 grieving that loss. But I also found out I was given a rainbow of hope.
28 is when my birthday fell on Easter Sunday. I gave birth to our son and began to truly heal.
29 flew by with lots of time spent with family and lots of appointments between regular doctor check-ups for the kids, helmet checks and PT for our youngest, speech for the younger girls, early intervention and finally 2 much needed diagnoses for 2 of the kids. And I found out I was pregnant with this current baby!
Reflecting on my last decade
My 20s held a lot of pain and struggles; grief, loss, depression, anxiety, separation from family. They held some of the worst moments of my life. While I wouldn’t change anything, it wasn’t easy getting married and having lots of kids young. It was made even tougher by moving to a new place so far away from family.
I felt like I didn’t fit in a lot of places because most of the moms I’d meet were older than me and already knew each other. They were always nice to me, but I still didn’t feel as if I belonged. I also just have a lot of kids close together so it was hard to go out and socialize with other people. I lost some friendships because I was in a different stage of life than them. They were some of the loneliest years at times.
But wow, my 20s have also given me some of the best moments of my life! College graduation, getting married, having 5 kids, 1 more on the way, and a little saint waiting for us in heaven, and our 2 dogs. Our own home, cars, all the blessings that we’ve been given. New friends. Rediscovering my faith, finding my passion.
Takeaways from my 20s
My 20s taught me that I’m a lot stronger than I believe, but that I also need to ask for help and accept it.I can’t do everything by myself and need to form a community.
People aren’t mind readers and I need to be ok with voicing my opinions, emotions, and needs.
Life isn’t just all the challenges we have to navigate; finding joy is important too.
And of course, God is there through it all.
30 is not as scary as it sounded in my early 20s. I’m looking forward to what this next decade will bring, and hope I can go into it with more confidence in myself than I did in my 20s.
