God Sees your Effort

Last Sunday

Last Sunday I felt like a crazy person. I woke up later than I should have, still exhausted as I was recovering from whatever virus we had. I texted my husband (who was gone at military drill) that I didn’t think Rebecca would make it to her Catechesis class. His response of “poor Rebecca” made me reconsider my plans to take it easy at home and instead try to let Rebecca make her class.

Normally on the Sundays that Christian has drill, I pack up the car and bring all the kids to mass solo. I used to take advantage of the livestream masses, but this year since Rebecca has her Religion class the same time as mass, I make a point to try going in person so she can still go to her class, and I don’t have to miss mass 1 weekend a month.

Let me tell you, taking all 5 kids to mass by myself is not fun, (I even had the priest come up to me once and say “God Bless You!” as I was ushering the kids in right before mass started- I must have seemed really stressed) but it has become more manageable as I have Gabriel to help me when he’s not at liturgy of the word.

But anyways, I digress…

Last weekend Elijah still had a fever, and I didn’t want to expose anyone, so I found a parking spot in the church parking lot, ran Rebecca up to her class, and then ran back to watch mass online on my phone in the car with the rest of the kids. When it came time for Liturgy of the Word, I ran Gabriel up, and ran back to the car. A parking spot closer to the church opened up so I moved the car right outside the doors. After the homily, I ran in to get Gabriel, and we both came back out. When mass was over, I went in to get Rebecca, picked up some Epiphany chalk, and went back to the car and drove everyone home.

Does that sound crazy to you? Because I felt crazy running around everywhere! But I also felt happy that Rebecca still made it to her Catechesis class to learn about the Epiphany, and Gabriel still got to Liturgy of the Word to learn about the readings (I also want to note that Gabriel and Rebecca were both healthy enough to go!)

It would have been so easy for me to just say, “we can’t make it this week,” and if I’m completely honest, I almost did! But after reconsidering (thank you to my husband) I decided to take them to their classes to get closer to God. Did I actually make it to mass? No, due to illness, we did not physically make it. But we did our best to grow closer to God. Rebecca made it to her class, Gabriel made it to his Liturgy of the Word, and the rest of us watched mass online in the car. God sees that effort. He knows that we are choosing Him.

*I do want to point out, that God also sees the families that do not make it to mass due to uncontrollable circumstances. I only started going to mass solo with the kids when my husband is away with drill this year. Before that, it was too hard and I didn’t have anyone to help. But we still made an effort to watch mass online from home on those Sundays. And God was there and saw the effort we made. If you are in a difficult situation and can’t make it, God sees your desire! He knows.

Are you already behind on your New Year’s goals?

My new year started off a little rough thanks to the virus we all caught. And now I’m behind on everything, including housework (particularly laundry), writing (that’s why I’m just now writing about the Epiphany) and just getting back into a routine. I’m also tired after fighting off whatever we were sick with and trying to play catch-up. I had goals for the new year for my fitness, to read more, journal, pray more and grow in my faith! Now I am behind, and feeling a little discouraged that I am already trying to catch up when the new year just started.

Since getting sick, I’ve had to take care of everyone and also had no energy or desire to sit, read and write. Now it seems like as much as I try to find time to do these things, the second I sit down someone needs me! And I’m getting a little frustrated.

Isn’t it funny how life works sometimes? You can plan as much as you want, but ultimately things are going to happen the way God plans them too. Maybe this is God’s way of trying to get me to slow down and surrender.

Reflection on the Epiphany

I recently have been reflecting on the Epiphany. We celebrate the wise men arriving at the Nativity and giving Jesus their gifts. We celebrate this holiday 12 days after Christmas! That’s right, the wise men were not there right when Jesus was born. It took them some time to get there.

So why do we pressure ourselves to be the very best versions of ourselves on the 1st, and if it takes too long or if we fall, then we fail? It takes time to grow into the best versions of ourselves. It takes effort. It’s not easy. Sometimes it looks like waking up to workout even though you’re tired. Other times, maybe it’s prioritizing rest. It can also look like making sacrifices to your plans to take care of someone else.

Growing in our faith also takes effort, too. Sometimes, it looks like watching mass online in your living room because that’s the best you can do. Sometimes, it looks like wrestling all your kids by yourself in mass so that everyone makes it to mass that weekend. Other times, it looks like running back and forth in a church parking lot to let your kids go to learn about God, and watching mass online in the car because the other kids are sick. Maybe it looks like taking the kids to mass when they are with you, and praying for them when they’re not able to go because they are with their other parent who is not Catholic. Maybe it’s making it to mass as a family and spending most of mass in the cry room. Maybe it is helping another family make it mass. Or maybe, it’s learning to pray when the baby wants to be held instead of mourning the loss of your time to write, clean, or read a book.

The wise men followed the bright star in the sky to find Jesus and gave them their gifts. You may wonder what gift you can give to Jesus that’s good enough. And the answer is you! You are enough. The effort you are putting forth to know Him and love Him is enough!

If you do all that you can for God, then you also become like the star that the wise men followed. You have a light that shines forth, and will eventually lead others to God.

So, don’t despair if your new year is off to a slow start or you feel like you’re failing. It takes time to get where you’re going. And God sees you trying. He is right there with you.