We live in a Martha world

I don’t always get to hear/pay attention to the gospel reading- comes with the territory of being a mom of 5 kids ages 5 and under. But if it’s a very popular reading, even if I’m not able to listen to all of it, I know the story already. This past weekend is one of those times where I was familiar enough with the story of Martha and Mary and remember what the lesson being taught is. 

Martha is busy getting everything prepared while Mary is sitting at the foot of Jesus listening to Him talk. I remember being confused by this gospel when I was younger. Why wouldn’t Mary be the one at fault? Martha was doing all the work and no one was helping her! Especially when they were having a special guest for dinner. Growing up it was expected as a member of the family to help clean the house and all pitch in- especially if we had company coming over. And now that I’m older and have a family of my own I try to stress to my own kids the importance of everyone helping around the house. 

But instead of chastising Mary for leaving Martha to do all the work, Jesus tells Martha that she should be more like Mary! I’m sure she was shocked by that reaction initially. 

But as she heard Jesus’ explanation why, it makes sense.

The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.”

LK 10: 41-42

How often have we let ourselves be so distracted by our jobs and anxieties instead of just focusing on Jesus?

I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me

John 14:6

 Mary was drawn to Jesus and didn’t let any temptations prevent her from devoting her time to Him. Martha, while we all view her as being responsible and taking care of her guest, got so caught up in the tasks that she neglected to realize that Jesus was in her home, and instead of devoting time to Him, she puts it off by devoting time to her work. Does that sound familiar? 

Obviously the work needs to get done, and doing household chores and cooking for your family is actually a way to serve God too! But in Martha’s case, her work was pulling her away from God, instead of towards Him. And I feel like it can be a fine line of completing our tasks for His glory, or completing our tasks for our own glory. 

And its hard to find that balance! We live in a Martha world. Society rewards those who work hard and whose lives are centered around their jobs, promotions and staying busy. Hard work is great! Having a passion is wonderful and providing for your family is a necessity. But it shouldn’t be what motivates your life. God should be at the center. 

I feel like if we asked people if they are a Martha or a Mary, most would reply with, Martha. Including me. I am definitely routine oriented. I have certain tasks I want to get done each day. But I’ve been noticing recently that maybe I have been too focused on those tasks and not focused enough on why I’m doing them.

My kids ask me to play with them. I tell them I need to get the dishes, laundry, or whatever other cleaning task for the day done first. My kids come in the kitchen to talk and “help”. I ask them to leave the room and let me get the work done. At that point, am I really serving my family, or am I ignoring Jesus (present in my kids) in the room?

Yes, the cleaning needs to get done. But my family deserves my attention too. It’s how God is asking me to serve Him right now. And I’m not sure if I have been doing the best job. I could be praying while I work. I could be spending time with my kids. Or I could be making sure I carve out time in my day for prayer just like I always make sure I carve out time for cleaning my kitchen. 

Why is it so hard to just sit and be with God? I just gave birth a week ago. And I’ve been trying my best to take it easy and not worry about the chores as much. But I still feel that tug to focus on the mess and that I’m wasting my time sitting on the couch holding my baby while he sleeps. And then I remind myself to soak all the baby snuggles in because soon enough he’ll grow and these days will be behind me. 

It’s no secret that families have been under a spiritual attack. And I can see it happening in my home every time I choose unnecessary (keyword unnecessary) work over spending time with my kids. I can feel the temptation to make our house look “perfect” and feel a sense of accomplishment. But in reality, I’m making a bigger mess in my soul and putting more space between me and God in the process. 

I do want to clarify that while I talk about unnecessary work, I don’t mean taking some time for ourselves to have a hobby or fulfill a passion, etc. I do believe that taking some time for ourselves is necessary and we shouldn’t feel obligated to spend all our free time fulfilling others needs and neglecting our own. What I mean is choosing work over family when maybe that pile of laundry doesn’t need to be folded right away, or the floors don’t really need to get mopped at the moment. Or if you’re working outside the house, maybe you don’t actually need those extra hours? I understand everyone’s situation is different, and financially it might not be possible to take a break. But if you are spending the time you have with your family and with God then you’re doing a great job! 

I wrote this blog post about a month ago, and am just getting to publishing it now. Even though I made all of these realizations while writing it, I still struggle with all the temptations to do everything. If anything, the past few weeks it has gotten worse as I try to add exercise back into my routine. So now I have another thing to keep me busy. It is all a learning process! If we start by making 1 change each day, whether it is adding intentional prayer to our routine, or spending quality time with the kids each day, it will get easier. And hopefully, we’ll find ourselves starting to feel more like a Mary in a Martha driven world.