And The Winner Is…

I find myself outside with my son playing “soccer” with a rock as the soccer ball on our driveway as we wait for the school bus. My 6-year-old has a look of panic and despair on his face when I score another goal, tying the score. I stop, look him in the eyes and say, “Why are you crying? This is supposed to be fun!” He takes a deep breath to calm down and says he’s ready to play. We continue back and forth until the bus picks him up. I had to remind him several more times that he and I were just playing for fun and not to get upset. My son is a very competitive boy, and his desire to accomplish his goal sometimes blinds his ability to see the fun in the situation before him. We are trying to guide this process so that he learns that healthy competition is ok if you win and lose with grace and have a positive attitude. 

Competition. Everyone wants to be the best at what they do. Everyone wants their sports team to win the game. Everyone wants to be told that they’re number one. But at what point does competition become too much? And where does it tie into our faith?

Examples in the Bible

In chapter 20 of Matthew, there are two stories provided for us on the topic of wanting to be the best. The first example is the story of “The Workers in the Vineyard.” The story goes that laborers were hired to work in a vineyard at the beginning of the day. Throughout the rest of the day, the landowner went out and hired more laborers. When the end of the workday arrived and the landowner paid everyone the same amount of money, the workers who had labored all day were annoyed that they didn’t get paid more than the ones that were hired later in the day. The landowner admonishes their complaints by saying, “‘My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? [Or] am I not free to do as I wish with my money? Are you envious because I am generous?’ Thus, the last will be the first and the first will be the last.” (Mt 20:13-16).

The next story provided is “The Request of James and John.” In this passage, we read that the mother of James and John requests that her sons have the best seats in heaven next to Jesus. This causes an argument among the apostles, leaving Jesus to resolve it by saying, “Whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mt 20:26-28).

Is All Competition Bad?

Absolutely not. There is such a thing as healthy competition. Think of sports, games, and anything that promotes the aspect of fun and community. If the competition is held to have fun and spend time with one another, it is good, even necessary to foster relationships and bring people to the faith. St. Paul talks of the importance of meeting people where they are to bring them to God. He uses an analogy of a race and stresses the importance of us winning the race to get the “imperishable crown” (1 Corinthians 9: 19-27). 

It is when competition becomes unhealthy that it becomes a problem. In these cases, competition becomes an opportunity for pride to take over the fun. We can see this in the parable from Matthew 20, listed above; the all-day laborers, instead of being happy that they had work and received payment, were jealous that the other laborers who only worked part of the day received the same amount. Their greed blinded them to their blessing. 

Mother Teresa is our Humble Example

Both show that the goal of Catholics isn’t to be known as the greatest of all time, a result of the sin of pride. Rather, these stories emphasize the importance of humility and serving others’ needs. It makes me think of Mother Teresa. She did not care about the publicity she was receiving from her charitable acts; in fact, she would have preferred not to be in the spotlight. However, she saw value in the publicity for the help it would provide for her mission. When she received the Nobel Peace Prize, rather than relishing the accomplishment, she used her acceptance speech as an opportunity to help preborn babies and discuss the importance of being pro-life. 

The Comparison Game

There are many aspects of social media that are good. For me, it’s been a way to keep in contact with friends whom I haven’t seen in years, share new blog posts, and meet new people in the online Catholic community. 

But there are negative effects from it as well. The biggest one is how easy it is to compare yourself to someone else. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself in a downward spiral of a mental competition between others you see on social media and the state of your house vs. theirs, your faith life vs. theirs, your health vs. theirs, your motherhood vs. theirs, your platform/business vs. theirs. It creates unnecessary feelings of guilt for not meeting standards that probably don’t fit into your lifestyle, and jealousy for not meeting the same goals as similar accounts/businesses. 

This can happen outside of social media as well; it’s easy to compare your accomplishments with a family member’s or get into a somewhat serious competition with your spouse on who is more exhausted (I didn’t say it wasn’t silly). But as Catholics, this is where we are called to humility and love, to help support our community.

Where to Practice Humility

I have my blog, where I write about my faith. And while I would love to reach thousands of people, I also understand that maybe I am not called for that. Maybe the one person that needed to see what I wrote is the one view I got. If I can make a difference, even a small one, then I am doing the work God intended for me to do. It’s not an easy thing, and sometimes my pride gets the best of me. 

Catholic businesses are another great example. Most Catholic businesses are smaller because there is a smaller market for that category. Many are run by people trying to provide for their families. Their work is holy, they are spreading their faith, and doing their best to provide for their family with the talent God gave them. It makes sense that they need to protect their work from getting stolen and make enough sales to stay open. That’s just part of having a job. But there can be a point where a businessperson can get too competitive within their field. If they are actively trying to bring down another Catholic business, steal ideas to get ahead, refuse to lend a helping hand to someone just starting out or trying to reach more people just because they don’t want more competition, then they are letting their business/money get in the way of their faith and their community. 

We are One Holy Catholic Apostolic Church. As Mother Teresa, the wonderful example of humility, said, “We belong to each other.” 

Example of a Catholic Business that Emphasizes Community

One group I have found to be so inspiring that fosters this sense of community is Catholics Online. Everyone in that group actively works with each other to promote one another’s businesses, share blog posts, provide feedback, make connections, etc. Catholics Online embraces our faith and the importance of sharing it with others while still maintaining a business. And they also have some fun, healthy competitions, like a reel challenge to help with social media engagement!

*If you’d like to join, here is the link with some more information! https://catholicsonline.net/join/

Remember to invite God into what you are doing! I’ve been saying the prayer, “Holy Spirit, you are welcome here” to invite God into my work to help remind myself of my purpose behind it.

Let’s support one another and help to spread God’s love and peace.