Happy Thursday, everyone! I have about one month until my due date and I am feeling very excited, and a little anxious about the things we have left to do to prepare for her arrival. It has been a little bit since I have posted on here- we have been busy with preparing for baby and taking kids to school, doctor appointments, etc.
This post is actually one I had written over the summer 10 weeks ago! I was waiting until my website was up and running to share it and felt that today is a good day for it! Since writing this post, I have definitely had an easier time asking for help and taking it slow as I am a lot bigger now than I was 10 weeks ago. It still doesn’t make it easy to let go of my standards (I definitely was a little bitter at the gym yesterday when I had to run to the bathroom 2 times during class and was not able to move a whole lot of weight) but I am making progress 🙂 I hope you enjoy it!
I was driving home from the gym on Monday and felt tired. It was only my second time back since my long break when I was visiting my parents, and I felt out of shape. I was also feeling a little frustrated. While I was working out, I looked around the room at the other members and saw how much weight they were lifting and felt weak in comparison. I am almost 25 weeks pregnant and have restrictions to follow, especially recently since I have been experiencing more low back and hip pain this pregnancy.
Humility has never been a virtue that comes easily to me. I constantly push myself to meet goals, and have a hard time accepting help, even if I could use it. Some might call this stubbornness a good trait, and in some situations, it can be. But from a religious standpoint, we are all called to be humble in our lives.
As I reflect on what it means to be humble, I find myself looking up the definition for it. According to the dictionary, to be humble means “having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.” Wow. I can understand how some people might look at this definition and create a negative association with humility. Are we not called to value ourselves and our self-worth?
When we are called to be humble, it does not mean to completely cast all your needs aside or not value your own importance. That is not what God wants of us. But rather, He wants us to understand our importance as a child of God and realize that everyone else is a child of God too. We are in existence because of our Creator. While it is important to take care of ourselves and our needs, humility calls us to also understand that at times, other people need to come first.
It also does not mean that you compare yourself to others and think you are not as important as they are because you can’t do the same thing they can (this is the way I was feeling after the gym). But rather, it calls us to accept our boundaries, our flaws, and what life presents to us with grace. It also calls us to value others and treat them with dignity and respect, even if they do not treat you the same way. It means letting go of our pride and the jealousy that causes us to compare ourselves to each other and realize God created each of us uniquely.
Monday morning, I prayed the rosary and reflected on the joyful mysteries. The first mystery is the annunciation, and the fruit of the mystery is humility. God called Mary to become the mother of God. And it was at that moment, she made her Fiat. She humbled herself before God, cast aside her own pride and said yes to God’s plan. She did not boast about it or revel in being chosen to carry God’s son, but accepted it with humility and grace, and then traveled a long way to help her cousin Elizabeth with the last part of her pregnancy. Mary is the perfect example of living life humbly.
Why is it that I struggle with this virtue? I have been this way since I was little. My dad always recalls the story when I was younger that if he or my mom asked if I needed help, I would reply, “I can do it”. The funny thing is, I am still that way (and so is my son!). I have a hard time accepting help or restrictions and letting go of my pride. It is something I need to work on, especially with having 3 little ones and continuing to get bigger by the day. When I reflect on why I am this way, I realize it is because of pride. I do not like lifting less at the gym because I feel weak. I don’t like accepting the fact that I probably should not be lifting my 3 year old and 2 year old at the same time because again, I feel I am not strong and not a good enough mom to be there for them. When we have received help from our parents to make some payments for bills or cover the cost of travel to visit, we are definitely grateful, but there is still a part of me that wishes we didn’t have to accept the help. All of this is because of my pride.
Maybe that is the same reason why I struggle to accept God’s plan for me at times. It is not what I envisioned for myself, and it can be hard to be like Mary and cast away my own pride and plans and say yes. But even Jesus, the Son of God accepted help. Simon the Cyrene helped Him carry the cross, Veronica wiped His face for Him. Mary took care of Him when he was a vulnerable infant. Jesus came to earth to save us and took on a human nature. He humbled himself in order to help us.
What great examples we have to help us learn how to practice humility. I know I have a lot to learn if I want to be humble. But some steps I can take are praying to God, to say thank you for my blessings, and to start praying for others. My problems may seem big to me, but others have their own problems they are dealing with and can use prayers too. The next time I am feeling dismayed at the fact that I cannot do as much now, I’ll remember what a great blessing it is to be pregnant and expecting a child when so many struggle to have one. I need to take precautions with how much I do so that our baby can grow and come into the world healthy and strong. The next time we receive help for a problem, I will be grateful and remember the kindness behind the intention, so that when we find ourselves able to help someone in the future, we can pay it forward.
Humility does not come naturally to everyone, especially not to me. But it is a virtue that we are all called to practice and will help us grow as a person and grow closer to God.
How is God calling you to practice humility? What are some ways that you struggle with humility? What are some of your methods to become a humble person?
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“ My problems may seem big to me, but others have their own problems they are dealing with and can use prayers too.” This is awesome. I also feel on the flip side that sometimes people feel their problems are smaller than others and won’t accept help. However, a problem that is big to you is still big to you, and it is in humility you can accept help in overcoming them. It’s very interesting how we can be humbled from both sides haha! Great post!! I also pray the rosary and ask God to humble me whenever I am feeling like there is so much going on that I don’t have time in the day to do everything. Why should I feel so big of a person that I could do it without Him, when it is with Him that I will be sure to accomplish it all. I need God to humble me so that I can focus on Him rather than the many tasks ahead! <3
Thank you, Virginia! I love the point you make too! Isn’t the Rosary great? I feel like it gives me much more peace to start out my day asking Mary for her intercession. I hope you’re doing well!