Jesse’s burial service was this past Friday. We were blessed with beautiful weather for it. I wanted to take some time to write and share pictures on it, but also share some information about the shrine where we buried Jesse. I feel like a lot of people who have miscarriages don’t realize that they have an option to name their baby and have a memorial/burial service for him/her. And if I can help spread the information for it so that it helps others get some peace, then I will be happy.
The Burial
Finding the baby for burial
When I first found out that I was having a miscarriage I was unsure of what to do. Would I be able to know when I passed the baby? Would I not recognize the baby? Would it just be like a heavy cycle as the doctors described? It was very stressful for me to be so unsure about everything while going through the pain of losing my child. I wanted to make sure that I honored my baby.
Then my father-in-law called my husband and told him some information about Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine and the services that it offered, including a burial. My husband and I jumped at the opportunity to have the interment for Jesse, and started brainstorming names while waiting for my miscarriage to be complete so we could take the remains to the Shrine for burial.
The waiting was the hardest part. I was still stressed about not knowing when I would give birth to Jesse and worried about losing the remains and not having anything to bury. But I knew that I wanted to try. I wish I would have gotten more information from the doctor that could have helped me. I was just told that when the miscarriage happened, I would feel like I couldn’t leave the bathroom for a few hours and have some heavy bleeding, but after that it would calm down.
That information was not very helpful for me. It had me worried that I wouldn’t know when the miscarriage was happening and that I would miss the baby. So I resorted to researching on my own and looking up stories from other women who miscarried so I knew what to expect.
Because of that and the actual labor contractions I experienced, I knew when the time came. I also found out that the baby could be surrounded by a clot, and with that information I was able to find the gestational sac where the baby was. It was hard to accept that the baby was no longer a physical part of me, but I was happy that all my worries about missing the baby were gone. We could bury Jesse.
The interment
The next waiting period began. I passed Jesse on Thursday, September 24th. The burial service was scheduled for October 1st. Until then, we had to preserve Jesse’s remains. That was hard. It was so hard to wait. But finally the time came for the service and Jesse could be laid to rest.
The Shrine was just as beautiful as I remembered. We had visited it a few years ago one summer, and while I remembered the memorial to the unborn, it never registered to me that babies could be buried there. It’s so peaceful! Jesse is resting in this beautiful memorial guarded by a beautiful statue of Mary, Mother of the unborn on one side, and an Angel on the other.
We had the priest that baptized our 3rd child, Theresa, perform the burial ceremony for us. I got to place Jesse in his/her final resting place, and we all got to bless Jesse with holy water. It truly was a beautiful and peaceful way to say goodbye.
Memorial to the Unborn
I wanted to share the link to the shrine where we buried Jesse for those that did not realize that you had this option. It’s never too late to name your baby or request that his/her name be engraved on the memorial. Here is the link to include the name of your baby in their prayer intentions. I will also link the main website address in case you would like to explore.
Link for the name
Link for the main website
Closure
I am so happy that we had this option for Jesse. It is so nice to have a place to go back and visit and that others will be able to go see Jesse and pray for him/her.
This burial service did provide some closure, but I had higher expectations for the closure that it would bring me. I think in my head I had the idea that once this service took place, all would be well and I’d be more at peace. But the grief is still there. The hole in my heart is still there. I know time will help heal but there will always be a piece of me gone.
All I know is that every time I go to Wisconsin, one of the first things I’ll want to do is go back to the shrine to see Jesse. And I’m so grateful for that opportunity.
I hope that by sharing my experiences and information on the Shrine I will be able to help others who are unfortunately finding themselves in this same situation, and bring them some peace of mind and options.
