Learning to Become a Parent

    Happy Wednesday, Everyone! I hope this week finds you well. It has been a busy few weeks for us in my house, due to Theresa’s surgery, Mother’s Day, and Anniversary celebrations, and is only going to keep getting busier with more doctor appointments and getting back into a regular routine now that places are starting to open up.
  

  First I wanted to give an update on Theresa, since I know that many of you have been keeping her in your prayers. She is doing well and recovering from surgery. The procedure became a little more complicated than we had planned, and she needed to have an incision to repair a hole in the back wall of her bladder that was made by mistake during the original procedure, and have stents put in to help drain fluid while the bladder is healing. We went back to the hospital yesterday for a follow up and got good news that Theresa is healing and had the catheter and stents removed. We appreciate all of your prayers for her!
    While Theresa has been doing well and making a good recovery, unfortunately she has not been sleeping as well since having surgery. She had been sleeping through the night before, and now is waking up in the night and having a hard time falling back to sleep. Some nights felt like we had a newborn again with the constant wake ups, diaper changes, and bottle feedings we have had to do. Now that her catheter is out we are hoping she will be more comfortable and fall back into her old sleep habits.
    As I was getting ready for the day on Monday, I was thinking about our future, and what it will be like with another newborn again. This will be my fourth time as a mom, but I still get nervous before having a new baby and feel like we are starting over again. It is amazing how much you forget in such a short time period! I know some moms who hate having to stay in the hospital and are ready to get home with their babies as soon as possible. While I would rather be at home, I also enjoy my time at the hospital because of all the extra help and get nervous when it’s time to go home and do everything by ourselves, even if it is going to be my fourth time doing it. 
    There are many books about motherhood and parenthood to help you prepare for having a child. Most people who look at the phrase, “learning to become a parent” will associate it with first time parents. Yes, becoming a parent for the first time is scary and is a learning process, but it also doesn’t stop with the first child or the first year of their life. Parenthood is filled with so many “learning moments”. It extends to each time you change the family dynamic by adding another child to the family, move into a different house, a new situation pops up, medical problems, a new routine is established, or your kids reach a new stage in their lives that impacts yours. Parents grow up with their kids.

   

Gabriel and Snowy were both our first children

    Learning to become a parent is more than just learning how to take care of your first newborn and getting accustomed to parenthood. It’s a constant learning process of understanding what type of parent your child needs you to be in a specific moment. It’s learning when to discipline, or when to instead show mercy. Learning when to help your child or when to let them figure it out for themselves even if it means watching them fail. It’s learning when to encourage them to be better and when to just relax and let things go. Sometimes it’s learning to face your own fears to be able to help or protect your kids. It’s learning to be the best version of yourself so your kids can learn by your example. But most importantly, it’s learning that no parent is perfect, forgiving yourself for the mistakes you make during the day, and asking God for forgiveness and guidance. Our kids don’t need us to be the “perfect parent” because they already have one in Heaven. They need us to be a parent who will love them no matter what they do, and one that will pick them up when they fall down, kiss their boo boos, and help them be on their way and lead them down the right path. It’s important for our kids to see us making mistakes and starting over again so that when they make theirs, they can follow our example and try again. 

    Learning to become a parent is something that all moms and dads are doing every day, no matter the number of kids they already have. The beautiful and somewhat frustrating thing about parenthood is that even if I wrote a book about my experiences, and what I’ve learned, it’s not going to be the same as everyone else’s, and maybe my advice will work for some parents, and maybe it won’t. Even if you get your bachelors, masters, and doctorate degree in parenting, there is always something new to learn about being a parent. 

    As intimidating as it all is, one nice thing is that we have a great example of what parents should be like from Mother Mary, Joseph, and many other saints. Ultimately, God is the best example- a loving father who forgives and loves us unconditionally despite all our mistakes and sins.

God, help guide us down the right path, so that we can in turn guide our children to You. Amen.

Rebecca wanted to try on the jewelry that I wore at my wedding <3