Sometimes things with kids don’t go as we planned. That’s the type of morning I had. Everyone just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, myself included, and it just turned into a morning full of tantrums, anger, and tears from everyone. I thought that it would be fun to make a fort for the kids using some blankets and our seats. They loved it for the first minute. But then my son decided that he wanted to have all the blankets over one part of the fort, and when I told him it was going to make it too heavy and fall down he got upset. So that was the end of the fort. Things continued on the same way, where we’d try to do an activity, someone would get upset, and the crying would start. I lost my patience way too much this morning. Sometimes all the chaos and noise is too much for me to handle. I had too many of those moments this morning. Even my dog decided to add to the stress by jumping on top of our table, something she never does, twice!
As I found myself getting frustrated and stressed throughout the day, I would pray to God, asking for strength and patience. Even then, by the time I put the kids down for naps, hoping that everyone wakes up in a better mood, I felt defeated. I felt regret for losing my patience so much this morning. I didn’t feel like a good mom. I didn’t feel like I got enough done in the house. My heart was full of sadness and anxiety for getting through the rest of the day. Then I realized, God does not want me to feel this way about myself, even on the bad days. He wants me to offer up my suffering to Him, and then get up, and try again.
One of the only good parts of my day so far is that I prayed the Rosary this morning. Today is Friday, so we pray the sorrowful mysteries. As I reflect on each of the mysteries and the fruit of the mysteries, I find that it was perfect for me that the sorrowful mysteries fell on a day that isn’t going well for me.
The sorrowful mysteries and their fruits are:
1.The Agony in the Garden- Sorrow for Sin
2. The Scourging at the Pillar- Purity
3. The Crowning of Thorns- Courage
4. The Carrying of the Cross- Patience
5. The Crucifixion- Perseverance
How perfect is this that I prayed this today? As I was making my kids lunch, I was praying to God for mercy and forgiveness for having so much anger and impatience with my loved ones today. I need His forgiveness to obtain a pure heart and start over again. I need courage, patience and perseverance to keep continuing on with my day and trying to make it a good one for me and for my kids.
One of the prayers listed in the Hail 15 program that I love to say, especially when I’m not having a good day is, “Lord, turn my struggles into joy for you”. I hope that when my kids wake up from their naps I can help turn this day around and be more joyful and understanding for my kids. Everyone has bad days, but that doesn’t mean give up trying to get better throughout the day. I’m going to keep praying for guidance and patience, and do the best I can, because that’s all I can do.
