My husband came home from work one day last year, excited about a mug that he had received in the mail. He told me that he had ordered it while he was at drill and got a special discount for it, and wanted to show it to me. I glanced over and saw this plain black mug. I probably said something like, “oh, that’s nice” while not really understanding why he was so excited about it. Then, he asked me if I wanted some coffee. It was in the afternoon, and I didn’t really want the caffeine because I was worried that it would keep me up at night, so I said no. He kept insisting, and made me some coffee. I was busy trying to complete some task or talking to him about something that happened during the day. All that time, he was trying to get me to look at the mug, but I was not really listening to him. Finally, he pointed at the mug, got my attention, and this is what I saw:
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| It reads, “TO MY WIFE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU YOU ARE BRAVER THAN YOU BELIEVE STRONGER THAN YOU SEEM SMARTER THAN YOU THINK & LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW LOVE, YOUR HUSBAND” |
What had once been a plain black mug suddenly had this wonderful message on it, and had become such a meaningful gift. The year before had been a year of many changes and transitions for us, and resulted in a lot of miscommunication between us. Over our Christmas break, we were able to go out on a date night, and have a good conversation with each other. This mug was given to me soon after that date night. It has easily become one of my favorite mugs not just because of the message on it but because of the intention of love behind it. Marriage is not always easy and it goes through its ups and downs, especially during times of transition, but if both people put in the time and effort, it will last, and both people will be able to maintain a strong relationship with each other.
Listening to each other is such an important part of any relationship. When my husband was excitingly showing me the mug that he had gotten, I should have shared that excitement with him, rather than just glance at it and carry on with whatever I was doing at the time. When he was trying to show me the message on the mug, I should have stopped what I was doing, and really tried to pay attention to him. I can definitely get lost in my thoughts and listen to someone talk, but not really hear what they are saying. We can passively listen to someone or actively listen to them. One thing I need to work on is actively listening to people, including my husband, and my kids.
Shortly after my youngest, Theresa, was born, I was sitting on the couch feeding her while my other kids, Gabriel and Rebecca, were playing. Gabriel was acting out a little bit and getting upset. Rather than trying to understand why he was upset and acting the way he was, I was getting frustrated with him. Then he came up to me, and said, “Mommy, Theresa go sleep over there!”. Then it hit me. He missed me, and just wanted to spend time with me. He was asking me to put his sister down for a nap so that I could go play with him.
It can be so easy to judge people by their appearance or even some actions without trying to understand the why behind them or the soul inside them. I thought the mug my husband was showing me was just an ordinary mug, but once a hot beverage is in it, a wonderful message comes through. This can be applied to people. We shouldn’t judge others without getting to know their inner being, or their soul. Some people need to be exposed to a little kindness in order to spread it themselves, just like the mug needed a hot beverage in order to show it’s message, or like how my son needed me to spend some time with him. It is important to remember, however, that the mug had that message to begin with, whether or not I saw it. We need to remember that God is in all of us, and we need to choose to see Him in everyone.
~Michelle
