Distracted thoughts and Interruptions
I wake up to hear the kids are up again. I drag my feet out of bed, hop into the shower and get ready for the day. I come out and Shiloh is cooing. I carry some things upstairs and then come back down to bring her up. I clean the dishes, get their breakfast ready and go upstairs to bring the kids down. The chaos of the day begins.
But it had already began before the kids were up. I have so many racing thoughts in my head. I need to get Friday Features up, I have to let Snowy outside, I need to let fresh air inside so the house doesn’t smell like stinky diapers. I need to take my medicine. Did I reply to that email yet?
“Mommy, look at me!”
Why does it take so long to get the kids dressed and in their chairs so they can eat? Where did Theresa go? How is Shiloh doing? Does someone else have another messy diaper? I want my coffee!
“Mooommmyyy look at me!”
Finally! The kids are up and eating breakfast. I have enough time to sit down and finally get this done. Oh I need to take Snowy outside. Hopefully the kids will still be content when I get back in so I can sneak into the kitchen and get work done.
“Mommy look!”
Ok, I finally have everything up! Is someone calling me?
“Mommy I want to talk to Daddy!”
Ok I can get everything done while talking and eating my breakfast at the same time.
“Mommy I want to do homework!”
Why can’t I just sit down and get something done! I hate all of these interruptions!
“Mommy!”
Do you find yourself distracted?
I need control. I need a routine and consistency. I get stressed and irritable when things don’t go according to plan. My mind is filled with racing thoughts of tasks I need to get done and when to get them done, how I’m going to get the kids out the door on time, etc.
Then one of my kids calls me to get my attention. And I answer without looking up trying so hard to keep track of my thoughts. And then I hear, “Mommy look at me!”.
I try so hard to fight all of these distractions. Anything that makes me feel like I’m not in control- interruptions, change in routine, depression, I try to fight it and gain control back. But much like a car losing its grip on ice, if you try too hard to gain control, it causes more problems instead of getting you back on course.
Turn your listening ears on!
I have seen the quote “Embrace the chaos and choose joy” a lot now. And I love it, but it seems much easier said than done. The chaos makes me stressed. But my stress only adds to the noise.
Recently, my kids have been acting up, but especially Gabriel. They are at the age where they can push boundaries to see what they can get away with.
“Where are your listening ears? Turn them on!” is what I tell them when they try to ignore me. But it seemed like no matter how much I reminded them or gave time outs helped. All of last week Gabriel was not listening, taking his energy out on his sisters, and we’d all end up in tears.
One day in particular I had enough. I was just so worn out and at my wits end. I called my husband to vent about it, and tried talking to my sister. I was so overwhelmed. And then I felt the words “he wants your attention” in my heart.
So that day during nap time after I put the kids to bed, I laid down with him and talked to him. I asked him if he was sad that he didn’t get much time with mommy. He said yes. So afterwards I asked him if he wanted special Mommy- Gabriel time, and he said yes and was excited! This past week before naps and bedtime, I’ve been spending extra time with Gabriel where we will talk, look at a book, or at a video on my phone (I took my car in earlier this week and he thinks watching the inspection video is so neat!).
He still acts up (I mean he is a toddler!) but I think its helping. He looks forward to spending alone time without distractions with me. He has always thrived in a one on one situation, and the time together is really important to him. I guess I needed to turn my listening ears on too any time he said, “Mommy look at me!”.
Rebecca has busy fingers. She constantly needs to be picking at something. She’s destroyed books, boxes, crayons, and peels paint from the walls. I made the mistake of leaving boxes with clothes for the warmer weather in her room where she could get to them, and low and behold, she started ripping them up.
One day I went upstairs to check on the girls at naptime to make sure no one was stinky and to tell them to go back to bed. I see she’s out of bed but she smiles when she sees me and proceeds to show me that she’s been cleaning up the mess she made in her room (something I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to teach the kids). She was so proud. And so was I!
Practice what you preach
One of the guests on @manyhailmarysatatime (@heypjk) was talking about how as a public speaker, a lot of the advice he gives is stuff that he should work on as well, and that when he tells his kids what they should do, He thinks of God telling him that he should take his own advice.
But that made me think, any time my kids are calling for me, “Mommy, look at me!” is that not also God calling me to look to Him too?
Anytime I tell the kids to “turn your listening ears on!”, does God look at me and tell me the same thing? So often I find myself wanting to be in charge of my life and outcome, instead of willingly accepting God’s plan and trusting Him.
My Friday
Yesterday, I had plans. After I got the kids up, ready and eating breakfast, I wanted to first post Friday Features and then finally conquer the laundry. I’ve been staring at the same laundry basket of clean clothes waiting to be folded for a week, while watching the amount of clothes slowly decreasing.
I had plans! I was going to get caught up.
But then the kids wanted to color. Gabriel wanted to color a picture for Daddy. Ok, I’ll get that set up and then I’ll be able to get things done.
But suddenly coloring turned to dot markers, and getting enough paper for the kids, putting their drawings in envelopes and into the mailbox to get delivered to family members the kids decided to create one for. It took up most of our morning.
But they all had fun! Rebecca even made some pictures for me! (I normally don’t get drawings because usually we’re sending them to others).
Once we were done, I told them that I needed to get my workout in. Usually they are in the living room and I am in the kitchen so I can still keep an eye on them but don’t have to worry about them coming in and physically interrupting the workout or getting hurt from any weights I use.
The way my workouts go, I get a few minutes in, and then have to address one of the kids. At a certain point today, Gabriel was picking on Theresa again, and I was getting frustrated. But instead of getting angry, I called him over, asked him if he wanted to workout with me, and he had a big smile on his face. He completed the rest of the workout with me and did a great job!
But of course, once Rebecca saw Gabriel was allowed in the kitchen and was having fun, she wanted to come in too. She was getting upset that I couldn’t let her join us (Our kitchen is too small). So once I finished, I got Gabriel and Theresa ready for lunch and let Rebecca come in with me so she could workout for a few minutes for me too. And she was happy.
Bringing it all together
My kids are so much happier when I am less stressed and give them the full attention that they crave. I am really trying to make sure I spend time with them where I’m not distracted by something. Some days are better than others, but I notice the difference in my kids and their behavior when I play with them or just spend time with them.
Sometimes I have to get things done, but other times, I put it in my mind that things SHOULD get done, and that’s when the stress starts.
Trying to fight against everything is exhausting. Losing control over a situation is scary. When things aren’t going the way I planned, that’s when God is calling me, “Look at Me! Turn your listening ears on!”. His plan is always better than mine, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
My mom told me that there was a priest who said that “our crosses are so much easier to bear if we embrace them”. And that is something I am really trying to do. It’s not easy and I’m not perfect at it, but I am trying.
I hope you all enjoy the weekend!
Do you pay attention to God when he is speaking?
