Kids are such a blessing. It may not always be easy for me to see it in the rough moments, like when I find my almost three year old coloring on the wall with crayon (yes, that happened today), or when my daughter is screaming because she doesn’t want to play in the child center while I work out, or when I have to get up in the middle of night to tend to one of them, but even though there are challenging times, having kids is definitely worth it.
Some families have one child, while others have many. For some families, one child is enough, and others desire to have more kids. My husband and I discussed kids before we were married and knew that we wanted to have a few kids- we each came from moderately big families; he is the oldest of four kids and I am the second oldest out of five kids. While we can plan for how many kids we want to have, but we cannot plan for the personalities that they are born with. This is the lesson that I am learning right now. We currently have three kids, and the two oldest have such strong personalities, and are so close in age that some days can be very rough.
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| Gabriel before his first hair cut! |
Gabriel is our oldest and from the very beginning he was very very active. When I was pregnant with him he was constantly moving around. He was so eager to enter into this world that he ended up being born a little over two weeks early, already weighing over seven pounds! He was born with a ton of hair and started getting regular hair cuts by the time he was five months old. He was very alert, interested in everything going on around him, and started army crawling right around five months old. He eventually switched to regular crawling and then started walking a little after turning one. He is easily our most energetic child.
This past fall we all went to a running track together, and he followed my husband around the track (running the whole time) for at least two laps straight! He took a break, and then went back to running around. Sometimes he runs a little too fast; he has needed a cut on his chin glued and already has had stitches for a cut on his face. He is very determined. One weekend, we took our kids to a place at the mall called Hop-A-Lot where there are a lot of inflatable moon bounces, slides and obstacle courses. He got on one moon bounce that has a slide attached to it, but could not climb up the slide. He kept falling down and crying out of frustration but would not get off the moon bounce. He eventually (after many, many tears) was able to climb up by himself and go down the slide.
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| Gabriel loves playing with cars! |
He is also a very sensitive boy. He thrives on routine (as most toddlers do) and if it is disrupted he has meltdowns or will act out. My husband travels a lot for work or for the military, and it really affects him. This past summer was especially difficult when my husband was away for three weeks. Gabriel was really acting out violently, hitting, pushing, all the usual two year old behavior but it was excessive. Most of the time I found that if I was able to get the kids out of the house and go somewhere where he could run around and let out some energy, he would have a better day. What made me sad, however, was when I ever mentioned “daddy”, he would just look at me and say, “daddy bye-bye”. He has such a big heart and when changes happen he just doesn’t know how to handle all of his emotions. It is always difficult when family comes to visit and it is time to say our good-byes.
Despite all the difficult behavior, he is such a good big brother. If he hears Rebecca waking up from a nap, he makes sure that I go get her, and that he is with me when I do. He loves to color, play with his beanie baby bears, and he loves being able to move around and get some energy out. He is our energetic child!
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| She has the sweetest smile! |
Rebecca is our middle child and she is our little drama queen. She is not as energetic as Gabriel and was super content as a baby to stay where she was. She was very social, and loved smiling at everyone and talking. It took her awhile to start crawling, and even longer to walk. She was around fifteen months when she started taking her first steps. She has always loved to dance! Before she was able to get around places, she would be lying on the floor and wiggle around with a big smile on her face. She still loves to dance (so does Gabriel!).
Rebecca is also very stubborn. She refuses to try new food. She has her favorites and that is it. When she does try something, we make sure that we don’t make a big deal about it. She was easily the worst sleeper out of our three kids. She had lots of ear infections as a baby, which would keep her (and us) up at night. Right around the time she started getting these ear infections, she started becoming really clingy. There was a period of time when all she wanted was me. She has calmed down a little since then, and will now go to my husband as well or other family members, but she also picks and chooses who she will go to. For whatever reason, the past few visits up to my husband’s family, she has wanted nothing to do with her uncle. It took her almost the entire trip to be okay around him, but by the end she was playing with him. She is also the same way with childcare at our gym. She is fine for a certain girl working there, but if it is anyone else, she will scream and cry until I am out of sight. This has been going on for months.
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| Rebecca this past summer |
Both she and Gabriel were in daycare for a little bit while I was working part-time. Right before I left my job, the lady in charge of the daycare told me that she thought Rebecca was going to give me a difficult time. At the time, I really didn’t see that comment becoming true, but as I was at home with the kids more, I could understand why she thought that. Gabriel did pick on her a lot and a lot of her reactions were well warranted, but she also has a reputation as a bit of a drama queen. She is a very emotional girl and makes sure we know how she feels. We always know when she is really upset because she will start to cry, and then not breathe for the longest time until her face is super red, then she will let out a big shriek.
Rebecca is also super sweet. She always wants to give hugs or snuggle. She is also very polite and usually says thank you! She enjoys helping feed baby Theresa and even has asked to hold her one time. She has the most heartfelt laugh I know and the biggest smile.
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| Theresa, our youngest. She clearly doesn’t have as much hair as the other two did! |
Theresa is our youngest and is almost four months old. She is still a little young to really be able to see what her personality is going to be like. She is a very easy going baby, and slept through the night for us for awhile (she is going through a little sleep regression at the moment, but she may be starting to get back into sleeping through the night). She can be very content just playing with her toys, or sometimes, she just really wants some company. She, like Gabriel, is also super alert and loves to observe everything around her. She has started babbling a lot and it is so cute to hear her talk! So far, she is content and social like Rebecca was, and very alert and active like Gabriel was. Maybe she will be a blend of the two.
She also has a little bit of a stubborn streak. So far, she has refused to take a pacifier. Gabriel did not take one right away either, but I believe he was already using one when he was as old as she is now. She was also stubborn before she was even born. When I was pregnant with her I had a lot of ultrasounds due to a minor medical condition she has, and every time I would go in, they told me she was still breech. Right before I turned thirty seven weeks pregnant, I was told she was still breech and I would need to get an ECV done (this is a procedure where the doctor tries to manually turn the baby). I had an ultrasound that day and the doctor talked to me before the procedure saying that the position she was in was not one that is usually successful in turning her, but he would try. Thankfully, he was able to get her to turn. Three weeks later, I was forty weeks pregnant, (the longest I had been pregnant) and I ended up getting induced with her the next day.
Every person has a unique personality that can affect the dynamic of the family. I have at least two kids who are very strong-willed. It can be hard! There have been some days when I put them to bed and end up sitting on the couch sobbing after because it was such a bad day. The thing about strong-willed kids, though, is that from a very young age, they know what they want. This can be frustrating as a parent when trying to introduce new things to them and raise them to be polite and abiding by rules. But it can also be a good thing. My son is very determined. I hope that one day, this determination leads him to fulfill his goals. I hope that my daughter’s emotions help her have empathy and compassion towards others. As parents, it is our job, however difficult it may be, to develop our children and help mold them, not break them, into the good people we want them to one day be. We need to understand their personalities, the good and the bad parts and use them to help them learn and grow.
Raising kids in general is no easy task, but throw in strong personalities into the mix, it can make things so much more difficult. At the end of a bad day, though, I still have as much love for them as I did at the beginning of the day, and that will never change. On difficult days, I pray for patience to get through, and I do my best, and that’s all that God wants.
