Happy Monday and happy new year! I hope you all have had a wonderful start to the year and were able to celebrate with the ones you love. I am so thankful that my family was able to be together for the holidays, even if they looked a little different due to life circumstances.
This week is spent trying to get into a new routine now that the holidays are over. Gabriel has one week of virtual preschool, and goes back in person next week. He is looking forward to going back and seeing his friends and teachers. I think he is also ready to get out of the house; it has been really cold here and we have not gotten out much lately.
The new year always brings us opportunities for fresh beginnings, even if not all of our problems are solved with the change of a date. However, it can also bring about some new challenges and stressors. My family is adjusting to a new challenge right now. To be honest, the past few days have been emotional and filled with overwhelming moments. Combined with my anxiety and depression I was worried that I would be having some bad days this week.
But so far everything has been manageable. I am still sad at times and get overwhelmed, but there have been so many positive moments that I attribute to starting this year with a better mindset and more of a focus on God.
Last year at Lent, I participated in the Hail 15 program and discussed it in some of my previous blog posts. This year, @manyhailmarysatatime started it up again on January 2, and I decided to participate again to have a fresh start to the year, get in the right mindset, and grow closer to God. It is day 3 of the program and I already feel like it has helped me accept this new challenge with grace. I am feeling more connected to God than I have been and when I have my moments where I am overwhelmed, I find myself turning to prayer more instead of giving in to the stress, anxiety, and feelings of sadness.
Last night was a rougher night. Shiloh was up for a long time (which is unusual for her-she is usually a decent sleeper). I could have gotten annoyed and frustrated after changing messy diaper #2 in a 10 minute period, but instead I felt pure joy because she looked at me and gave me the biggest smile and was trying to talk to me. In that moment, all I could think was “Thank you, God!”
Shiloh was not part of our plan, and for a little while after finding out I was pregnant with her I was bitter. But God knew I needed Shiloh in my life. He knew I would need that night of her smiling at me with pure joy, trust, and love. He always knows what we need, even when we do not realize it.
This year has already brought some challenges, but sometimes all it takes is a smile to know everything is going to be okay (saying some prayers always helps too 🙂 ). I encourage you to check out the Hail 15 program if you have not already done it, or make a commitment to find how God is present in your everyday life. I have been turning to him in the moments of stress, and in my daughter’s smile.
I hope you all enjoy this first full week of the year!
