Happy Thursday everyone! (It is Thursday, right?) We have been adjusting to becoming a family of 6 and have been staying busy and sleep deprived with a newborn. I am finally getting some time to write and would like to share my experiences of what it was like to be pregnant during the COVID pandemic.
The year 2020 has been a rough one for everyone. It was off to a good start- the beginning of the year brings hope. Hope that this will be the year that you will meet all your resolutions and goals. The beginning of the year for me started off great. Theresa was doing well and sleeping through the night. I started losing the baby weight I had gained from my pregnancy with her. I attended another retreat that again renewed my faith and began to pray the Rosary daily. I felt prepared for Lent this year and was excited for it to become another journey to grow closer to God. Then COVID hit. Shortly after things started shutting down, I found out that I was pregnant again. I had to postpone plans to visit my family, switch some doctor appointments to just talking on the phone or canceling altogether because of visitor restrictions. I found myself overly stressed, anxious, and on edge.
This was the first pregnancy where Christian could not come to my anatomy scan with me and see the baby, because he had to stay home and watch the kids since they were not allowed at the appointment. In a way, it was nice to have some time to myself to go to the appointments, but it also made it challenging to find babysitters or for Christian to request off work.
I had my first doctor’s appointment soon after things were shutting down due to COVID, and got my pregnancy confirmed. It was at this time that our gym had to close for a few weeks due to COVID. The coaches were great and provided at home workouts every day and hosted a live workout on Fridays, but it was still not the same as going in person. Going to the gym is also my break during the day. It definitely made it tougher to stay as active this pregnancy as I did when I was pregnant with Theresa, and I also found I had more aches and pains this time around so I was not able to go once they were open again as much as I would have liked.
I am very blessed that I had an uncomplicated pregnancy this time around and Shiloh is healthy. I do not know how I would have made it to all the doctor appointments if she had a condition like Theresa did and I needed more monitoring. I feel for all the women who have to deal with that on top of complications from COVID. I am also very curious how everyone with little kids like us have been able to make it to all their appointments and find childcare.
While Shiloh was healthy and there were no concerns for her health during the pregnancy, it was a rougher pregnancy for me. For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that this pregnancy was a surprise for us; we were not planning to have another baby so soon after having Theresa. It took some time for me to accept the pregnancy and become excited to have another baby. About halfway through the pregnancy though, I found that I became irritated easily and was more anxious than usual. I did not feel like myself and was short tempered. I felt like an awful parent and spouse and ended up talking to my doctor about anxiety and depression. I have been attending virtual therapy sessions and making my mental health a priority this time around.
I have been wondering if my struggles would have still been the same if COVID complications were not a factor, and to be honest I do not know. I think all the complications it caused added to the stress and anxiety I felt. But I also think that my own personal circumstances in my life caused me a lot of anxiety and stress. Combine them with hormones from pregnancy, and my emotions got exacerbated.
This pregnancy reminded me a lot of when I was pregnant with Rebecca- there is the same age gap between her and Gabriel as there is between Theresa and Shiloh, and Rebecca was also a surprise baby. I was very lonely postpartum with her and think I probably had some anxiety with her that got undiagnosed because I did not prioritize my own health.
Theresa also had her surgery during this pregnancy, and that came with its own complications and added a lot of anxiety and stress to our lives for a little bit. Summer was busy for us between trainings, travelling, a funeral, the derecho storm, and potty-training Gabriel.
So, while COVID was not responsible for all the stress factors and anxiety triggers in my pregnancy, it still played a role in it. Christian ended up getting exposed to someone who tested positive on two different occasions at military trainings, one of the times was when I was 38 weeks pregnant. Luckily, he tested negative both times, so it never became a big problem, but it was still not a fun situation to find ourselves in, especially that close to my due date. Throughout the pregnancy I also found myself worrying about what restrictions would be like when baby was born, and what would happen if any of us were positive.
Thankfully, it never became a problem for us. I am also lucky that there is more of an understanding about COVID now than when the pandemic started to get bad. Earlier in the year I had heard of stories where a support person was not allowed in the birth room due to restrictions. Christian was allowed in the room with me while I gave birth and could come and go from the hospital since I tested negative. We had to wear our masks in the hallways and when other workers entered our room, but other than that I could keep it off and did not need to wear it during labor. Unfortunately, due to the restrictions, my other kids were not allowed to meet Shiloh until we were discharge from the hospital. There were also no photographers offering newborn pictures this time (we had this done for both our other girls who were born in the same hospital), so I ended up taking some of my own in the hospital. I think they turned out pretty well for a novice 😊.
This pregnancy was definitely a tough one for me mentally between life situations and extra stress from COVID restrictions and exposures. But I would not change any of it. God has a plan for my life, and all the challenges in the pregnancy are a part of it. I am proud that this time I have advocated for my mental health and have been open to getting help when I need it. I am also hopeful that things will get better, and doctors and scientists will develop more of an understanding of COVID and a successful vaccine will be produced. Until then we are just taking it one day (and one cup of coffee) at a time.
I hope you all enjoy the weekend and get some time to relax and do something you enjoy!
~Michelle
Were you or are you currently expecting a baby during the pandemic? How did it (if at all) affect your pregnancy and mental health? Feel free to comment below!
